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Is it true that babies think they are part of mom?

by Anya Dunham, PhD

Is the idea that babies think they are part of mom or "don't know they are separate from their mother" supported by research? Let's explore.

Do babies think they are part of their mom: baby snuggled with their mother

You've probably seen the statement "your baby thinks they're part of you". Is there truth to this?

It is difficult, if not impossible, to answer this question with certainty; a baby cannot tell us when they realize "This is me and this is you". But here are a few things we do know that suggest our babies have a sense of self from birth.

Babies have a sense of ecological self from birth

🐣 At only a few hours old, newborns look longer at a video of another newborn’s face if it's stroked by a brush when their own face is brushed in synchrony (compared to when it's brushed out of sync).1 They also show a rooting response more reliably when their cheek is stroked by another person (compared to when they accidentally touch it themselves).2

🐣 By 3.5 months, babies prefer looking at images of human bodies with parts in the right locations and in correct proportions (as opposed to jumbled images).3

This tells us newborns already have an emerging sense of ecological self ("me in relation to objects in my environment") and quickly gain a sense of the typical structure of the human body.4-6

Their sense of interpersonal self ("me in relation to others") develops through attuned interactions with their caregivers. And THIS is where we - moms, dads, and other caregivers - have immense influence: by being sensitive, mind-minded, and truly present when we are WITH our babies, we can help them feel safe, loved, important, and understood. And this can be done by moms, dads, and other committed caregivers.

Bottom line: It's unlikely that babies think they are part of mom

📌 Babies need us close for nourishment, safety, and bonding, but it's unlikely that they experience a brief separation from mom as "I am missing my limb" (even when they exhibit separation anxiety).

📌The quality of time together - attuned caregiving, sensitive and mind-minded interactions, being fully present - matters greatly.

References

1. Filippetti ML, Orioli G, Johnson MH, Farroni T (2015) Newborn body perception: Sensitivity to spatial congruency. Infancy 20(4): 455-465

2. Rochat P, Hespos SJ (1997) Differential rooting response by neonates: Evidence for an early sense of self. Early Development & Parenting 6(3-4): 105–112

3. Mondloch CJ et al (1999) Face perception during early infancy. Psychological Science 10(5): 419-422

4. Rochat P, Striano T (2000) Perceived self in infancy. Infant Behavior & Development 23(3-4): 513–530

5. Neisser U (1991) Two perceptually given aspects of the self and their development. Developmental Review, 11(3), 197–209

6. Montirosso R, McGlone F (2020) The body comes first. Embodied reparation and the co-creation of infant bodily-self. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews 113: 77-87

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Using hundreds of scientific studies, Baby Ecology connects the dots to help you create the best environment for sleep, feeding, care, and play for your baby.

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Warmly,

Anya